The other day I watched this video and while I cheered, I also got a little teary-eyed. I believe that most women can tend to apologize too much for things that aren’t their fault! I left the house feeling confident and we went to a party. As I entered the room that was loud with laughter and conversation, I immediately felt my introverted, shy self feel less confident. I heard someone mention a cheese tray, which gave me something to look for and do, so I wound my way through the crowd, seeking cheese and crackers. As I navigated the crowd, a man suddenly stepped back and waved his arms as he told a story and he ran right into me. Immediately, I said, “Oh! Sorry!” He said, “That’s okay.” and he went back to his story. Sigh. I was so disappointed with myself! Why did I apologize when I’d done nothing wrong? How did I so quickly step back into being a “Christian Nice Girl”, saying “sorry”?
This issue of being quick to apologize is bigger than “who’s right/who’s wrong” – it’s an indication of something deeper going on. Why do I so naturally fall back in to apologizing for taking up space? For most of my life, I’ve struggled with feeling like I don’t have the right to take up space. I would often dismiss my own voice, feeling insignificant and unworthy of being listened to. God has been healing me in this area over the past few years. I want to live confidently and fully into how God created me, living as God’s good woman.
For one week, try to notice how often you and women around you say, “I’m sorry”. Reflect on what you noticed and ask God if He might be speaking to you about that.
Lori Neff is the senior producer of Midday Connection and editor/contributor for Daily Seeds: From Women Who Walk in Faith and Tending the Soul (Moody Publishers). She grew up in a small town in Ohio, spending more time outside in nature than inside. Lori is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute. Her interests include art, humanitarian aid efforts, cooking, gardening, coffee, thinking, learning and spending time with her husband, John (and their three fiesty cats). For more information and her blog please visit Lori’s website.