Midday blog: “My husband is my everything” kind of living
Have you found yourself living into a belief system in your everyday life that looks like this: my husband should fulfill all of my needs and desires?
These feelings can contribute to making husbands the recipient of eventual disappointment, confusion and even disdain that is often covered up in our Christian communities. After all, when our husband doesn’t measure up to becoming the same kind of “head of the home” that another woman’s husband appears to be, we can often feel utterly left out, our marriage less-than, even believing our husband is a failure.
Personally, I never married with the expectation that my husband should “lead me.” After years as a self-sufficient career woman, and a sensibility that told me I was responsible for my own spiritual growth, it didn’t make sense to turn over the reins to somebody else. I had as my model for marriage my parents’ own strong one, where both operated as individuals who came together around disparity in loving communion, negotiation and prayer.
However, I did enter into marriage with the expectation that my new husband would fill those empty places inside my soul as I looked for security, adoration, natural spiritual unity, lack of marital conflict and the “shoulds” of a perfect Christian marriage that I’d been taught in church, on Christian radio, in women’s Bible studies and in Christian books. If you can relate to the dis-ease that sort of thinking brings to your life, you may appreciate this piece from Alexandra Kuykendall called “Expecting a ‘You Complete Me’ Kind of Marriage”. Click on the link below to learn how she navigated the choppy waters of a “my husband is my everything” kind of life.
Melinda Schmidt is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and holds a Broadcasting/Bible degree from Calvary Bible College. She has served with Moody Radio since 1980 in various hosting capacities. Married with two young adult children, Melinda lives outside Chicago, loves reading, developing her creative interests and hopes to be a life”-long learner. Twitter: @melindaschmidt