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Guest blog: Mental Illness – We Can Help

My mother has seen multiple psychiatrists, counselors, and other mental-health professionals. She has seen the inside of more than one mental-health hospital, one jail, and one prison. Her history with serious mental illness goes back more than 20 years. But if she were to go to a hospital today, in urgent need of psychiatric intervention, she would most likely start from scratch with a team of professionals who have no idea what medications she takes, what she suffers from, or what she needs.

She might be medicated, stabilized, and after a few days, discharged into the care of a family barely able to care for her, even after decades of practice.

Every time her insurance company has made a change, a doctor moved, or the person she last saw wasn’t available, she has had to meet with someone new and start over.

She needs to take medications every day, but until recently, no professional had explained–in a way she understood–that she has a chronic illness and must take meds for the rest of her life, for the sake of herself and others.

Under intensive treatment, she usually has been paranoid and unwilling or unable to consent for caregivers to consult with family. So we have written letters explaining her history and behavior and mailed them to these professionals, hoping she would get better care–even though the recipients could never acknowledge receiving any communication from us.

When she went missing and lived in homeless shelters, we couldn’t find her. No one would answer our inquiries.

When she went to prison, I couldn’t visit because she was required to initiate a multi-step process of obtaining approval for each visitor–and it was much too difficult for her.

Although we suspected for a long time that she suffered from schizophrenia, it took 20 years for us to receive professional confirmation of her diagnosis, from a medical field that is reluctant to “label” people.

This is the reality of life for so many families like ours, trying to navigate a mental health care system that is badly broken. And there are so many ways the church can help.

My family has always been in the church. Dad was a pastor for 10 years. When schizophrenia came knocking, we were steeped in church life, yet the church was mostly silent on the reality of mental illness–and we got the message that we should be silent as well. This silence was isolating and cruel.

Yet our greatest moments of hope have come through encounters with individuals in the church who have made eye contact, visited Mom in prison, answered late-night phone calls to help her sort through her thoughts, showed up for small group when Dad cried every week. These are simple acts of love that reflect the heart of our creator, who knows far more than we do about how wretched we all are.

Like it or not, the church is the first place many turn in crisis. And fair or not, the church’s silence or rejection feels like rejection from God. We cannot keep turning away from the most vulnerable among us. It’s time to be part of the solution.

Amy SimpsonAmy Simpson is editor of Christianity Today’s Gifted for Leadership, a freelance writer, and author of Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church’s Mission (InterVarsity Press). You can find her at www.AmySimpsonOnline.com  and on Twitter @aresimpson.

Guest blog: Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Have you noticed how we stop seeing the smudges on our own walls but see them immediately in someone else’s house? It’s easier to spot the “dirt” in someone else’s home because our eyes haven’t grown accustomed to it. The same thing can happen with emotional and verbal abuse: we can spot it in other’s relationships but can miss it in our own because we’ve “gotten used to it.” We come to believe all relationships are like ours, that yelling, name-calling, cutting sarcasm, or the silent treatment are normal. Those behaviors aren’t normal. They are emotional and verbal abuse.

Emotional abuse is a consistent pattern of hurtful, humiliating, and condescending behavior. Examples include trying to control someone’s actions, making unreasonable demands, shaming, devaluing what is important to someone else, withdrawing love and attention, sulking, rolling eyes, and not caring how others feel and believing you are always right and superior.

Verbal abuse is a form of emotional abuse and defines people in a negative, pain-producing way. Examples include negative statements or insinuations telling you what, who, and how you are and what you think, feel, or want, such as “You are: like a child, clueless, too sensitive, lazy, trying to start a fight, overreacting, being dramatic, etc.” or “You think you’re always right, you’re better than everyone else,” or “You are confused, are never happy, aren’t sad, have nothing to cry about, don’t love me, want to hurt me on purpose, want me gone, etc.”

You cannot be emotionally intimate and safe with people who are consistently emotionally or verbally abusive. While they may not be physically violent, they are doing psychological violence to you, and their assaults on your heart will gradually erode your self-esteem, confidence, and identity. You are not causing the abuse, even if you are told “You make me act this way, I have to talk to you this way to get you to listen, etc.”

If reading this has been a wake-up call for you, don’t go back to sleep! Stop making excuses like “I’m used to it. That’s just how s/he is.” Emotional and verbal abuse is wrong. Making excuses for someone else’s sin enables the person to continue sinning. Educate yourself about emotional and verbal abuse so you can recognize it quickly. Join a support group or see a counselor so you can learn new, healthy ways of confronting abuse.

Jennifer DeglerJennifer Degler, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, life coach, and co-author of No More Christian Nice Girl. A frequent speaker at women’s events and marriage retreats, she also maintains a counseling practice in central Kentucky. She is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors and the founder of CWIVES, an organization devoted to helping Christian wives enhance their sexuality (www.cwives.com). She has been interviewed by Women’s Day.Com, Moody Radio, and numerous other media outlets. Jennifer and her husband, Jeff, live in Lexington, Kentucky, with their two children. Visit her Web site at http://www.jenniferdegler.com.

Guest blog: Animal Care

Ben with mom The other day, Melinda Schmidt and I were talking about animals for the Bring to Mind podcast, and I had a chance to tell her a story my mother Cheryl wrote in a journal she kept for me during my first year of grade school:

Today, Ben told us about a butterfly that he and some friends caught outside.  Unfortunately, they broke one of its wings.  When we talked about being kind to animals and never hurting them, Ben felt very bad.  He looked at me with his eyes brimful of tears and said, “I think I’m going to cry.”

Later, as we talked about the butterfly not being able to fly, he said, “Maybe the Daddy and Mommy butterfly will come along and carry the butterfly.  Can butterflies carry things?”  When we were at home later, Ben made a “book” and told me, “I’m making a Fragile Book of things you have to be fragile with.”  And he had drawn an ant and a butterfly …

Like most children, I was very sensitive to animal (or “aminal” as I apparently called them well into kindergarten) death and suffering from an early age, including the untimely demise of my first pets.  But beyond that, I was completely fascinated with anything having to do with animals.  I’m so thrilled to see that natural fascination in my own preschool son Jadon, and maybe you see it in the children you are close to?

Ben with Kitten

During our conversation, Melinda asked why we seem to lose touch with animals as we grow up.  We may have a pet or two, watch an occasional wildlife special on TV, and know that much of our food comes from animals — but we don’t often pay much more attention to them.  And we aren’t very tuned in to the suffering and cruelty animals experience on a regular basis, both in the wild and under human care.

Most of us won’t be animal advocates specifically, and that’s ok.  But I do think God wants us to grow in our appreciation and concern for His creatures, “great and small” as the old hymn says.  After all, if He doesn’t forget a single sparrow (Luke 12:6) — or dog, or cow, or even butterfly — there’s something about being made in His image which would somehow ideally echo that awareness and love.

What are your thoughts?

(Thank you to my mother for allowing me to including this journal entry, and to my father Daryl [both Moody alumni] for the childhood photos.) 

Ben DevriesBen DeVries founded Not One Sparrow, a Christian Voice for Animals after completing his capstone paper on animal welfare at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School almost five years ago. Ben lives in southeastern Wisconsin with his wife Cheryl (an amazing childhood educator and vegetarian cook), almost-four-year-old son Jadon (a lover of dinosaurs and various other animals), and three adopted cats.  For more information about Not One Sparrow, please visit the website.

Guest blog: Keep Moving Forward

I’ve got this saying I love.

I might have stolen it a little.

But it was in a movie, so it’s basically public domain, right?

It goes like this:

“Keep Moving Forward.”

I love that. It’s broken out of a longer quote from one of my favorite people to ever exist, Walt Disney.

Here’s the whole thing (he’s talking about Disney Corporation):

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

But isn’t that wonderful? Think about that in terms of your life. Forgetting the past, letting go of all the things that so entangle us, and keeping moving forward. Toward God, toward achieving goals, toward crossing things off your bucket list, toward learning new things, toward hurting, mourning, laughing, glorifying, savoring, forgetting guilt and who we once were, toward living. And not just living, but living as though we have begun all over again, made clean and new (because, if you are in Christ, you have been.)

That’s my humble advice for you today. Keep Moving Forward. Do not become idle. Do something. Use your life to do things, and whatever you do, do it for the glory of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2  Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Elizabeth DooganElizabeth (Liz) is a student at Moody Bible Institute, majoring in Radio and Social Media. She has spent the last year working with Midday Connection as Office Assistant. Elizabeth hopes to pursue a career in radio, and works with Moody Campus Radio as its Program Director. In her free time she loves to disciple young girls, tweet, and explore Chicago.

Guest blog: Where Do You Need a Resurrection?

Ever had a crisis of faith? I have. 
I’m pretty sure that Jairus, a synagogue ruler, had a crisis of faith. His story is found in Luke 8:40-56. Pull out your Bible and take a look. Jesus had promised to come and heal Jairus’ sick daughter. But along the way to Jairus’ house, Jesus stopped and healed a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years. Imagine Jairus’ disappointment when a servant came and said, “Your daughter is dead. Don’t bother the teacher any more” (Luke 8:49). I wonder if Jairus thought, “Really Jesus? You promised, but obviously, I can’t count on you!”  He must have had a major crisis of faith.
In that moment, Jesus looked deep into the eyes of Jairus and said, “Don’t be afraid; just believe and she will be healed” (Luke 46:50). Don’t you wonder what was going through Jairus’ mind? If I had been Jairus, I would have felt petrified! Somehow he mustered the faith to follow Jesus back to his home where he witnessed Jesus tenderly inviting his daughter back to life. 
If I were to invite you to find yourself in this story, I wonder whom you would relate to the most? Maybe like Jairus you are in a crisis of faith, and you’re feeling disappointed with God. Maybe you identify best with the little girl. You feel dead and wonder where all your passion has gone.
May I offer you this encouragement? The same Jesus who raised Jairus’ daughter can bring about a resurrection in your life, because He’s alive! Where do you need a resurrection? Do you need hope restored? Joy replenished? Strength renewed? Passion revived? Jesus is the resurrection and the life, and He delights in bringing life to the parts of our soul that feel dead!
Take a moment, and write a prayer to God. Praise Him that Jesus is alive, that He has conquered death for all time. Then pour out your heart to Him, and ask him to resurrect in you whatever feels dead.
 
Questions for Further Reflection
  • What broken dreams have you experienced lately?
  • How might God want to resurrect those dreams?
  • What does it look like for you to embrace the hope of the resurrection of Jesus Christ in your own life?

Becky Harling is a pastor’s wife, mom, author and speaker.  As a breast cancer survivor and childhood sexual abuse survivor, Becky is passionate about helping women. You can learn more at her website: www.beckyharling.com

Guest blog: Thai Culture

Dr. Pam Barger talks with me (Melinda Schmidt) about the complexities of Thai culture this week on the Bring To Mind podcast. After taping our conversation in her office on the campus of Wheaton College for Bring to Mind, I still had many more lingering questions.  Here, we continue the conversation as she briefly talks more with me about Buddhism,  sex trafficking and living as a Christ follower in Thailand.

MELINDA: We talked about “bar girls” and prostitution in the red light districts in Thailand. What is the attitude of millennial Thai women to this part of their culture?

DR. BARGER: For some Thai women, they view the bar girls as just someone earning their living for their family.  Some Thai women have pity on the bar girls.  Some find it wrong and maybe the bar girls are the ones who just had bad karma (or their family had bad karma) which caused them to end up in prostitution.  And there are women who enter prostitution by choice.  According to a study done by Chulalongkorn University (one of the top universities in Thailand), there are four types of sex workers:  1) those who are from the rural areas and are trafficked/sold into the trade and working under restraint; 2) single mothers/women with low education to supply money for their dependents; 3) young, attractive, entrepreneurial women who want to earn extra money; they work in Japanese bars and high-end establishments; and 4) women such as students who perform sex part-time to supplement income.

MELINDA: What is the general attitude of Thai people to evangelical Christians in Thailand?

DR. BARGER: Although it appears that Thai people are accepting to Christians coming in Thailand, there are many who don’t want them to be there, especially to evangelize the gospel to them.  Many wish the Christians would leave the gospel sharing alone because they are already Buddhists, so why need to change them to become Christians, especially a religion that they considered a Western religion?  Again, for the Thais, to be a Thai is to be Buddhist.  Many Thais do carefully watch at the attitude and the actions of the evangelical Christians to see if they “walk, the walk, and talk, the talk.”  They really are observant of the Christians there, yet they do appreciate the efforts of them helping out with outreach programs, English language training, medical help, combating trafficking, etc.

MELINDA: What is it like for a Christian to live and worship in Thailand?

DR. BARGER: Very challenging.  There are many Thai Christians who are nominal, in that they take elements of Christianity and combine them with their Buddhist background.  It is challenging in terms of the spiritual oppression that is there.

MELINDA: You were a Buddhist. What are the differences that came to your life after you decided to follow Jesus?

DR. BARGER: Matthew, Chapter 10 comes into my mind as I continue on my journey as a Christian. On one hand, I find assurance knowing that I can find peace through having a relationship with Jesus, but on another hand, I am realizing that the life of a Christian will often bring division to my loved ones and to the people of this world.  The life of a Christian is often filled with ironies.  However, the biggest difference that I realize as a Christian is that I have the Lord on my side, whereas before as a Buddhist, I was on my own, trying to live a good life and do the best I can, but at times, I fail.  I didn’t want to live in a cycle of birth and rebirth anymore.  As a Christian, I am glad to know that I have freedom in Christ.

You can listen to the Bring to Mind here: http://www.bringtomind.org

Pam BargerDr. Pam Barger is the ELIC (English Language Institute of China) Program Administrator and guest professor in the Intercultural Studies Department at Wheaton College Graduate School. Her research interests focus on internationalization, democratization, educational technology, spiritual capital, social justice, religion and gender in education with a specific focus in Southeast Asia. She has guest-lectured in seminars and graduate classes on perspectives on social foundations of education, history of education, TESOL, global outreach, educational research methods, interreligious dialogue, Buddhism, women issues in Thailand, and integration of faith, learning and social justice.

Melinda SchmidtMelinda Schmidt is a visionary who appreciates observing how the complexities of culture and faith influence one another. Her core words are freedom, orderliness, twirling, beauty and seed-planting ideas. For her, life is good when she is free to muse, express and—frankly—eat pizza or her homemade blueberry pie.

Guest blog: Reflections on Turning…Well, Getting Older

This year, I will “celebrate” what’s commonly referred to as a milestone birthday. Not just any milestone, this is of the “downhill from here” variety. I’m taking a timeout to reflect on some of what I’m learning:

I might as well accept myself.

I’ve wasted a lot of energy trying to become a different person. I might as well put that energy into doing what God has put me here to do.

It’s never too early to prepare for death.

Preparing for death doesn’t mean planning a funeral; it means living well, caring about what matters, and being honest with myself about what I’m likely to leave behind.

I’ll never have it all figured out.

I’m never going to arrive. Perhaps it’s time to stop expecting myself to reach enlightenment.

History is powerful.

We devalue the past at our own peril. People who have and use the lens of history to inform their perspective of the present are the wisest people I know.

Our choices stick with us.

Our choices have consequences, and we have to live with them. On my journey through life, I’ve tripped over things I never would have guessed would come back to haunt me. Our whole life matters.

People stick to us.

We’re far more connected than we realize when we’re younger, and the way we treat people matters.

I can never escape my family.

Even those who try to break free of their families’ influence find their lives defined by that quest. And no matter how far I roam, I’ll never find another person who can understand me the way a family member can.

Death is always with us.

Death’s shadow looms over us, defining life itself so profoundly, we can scarcely imagine living out from under its threat. I’ve seen enough of life to recognize death everywhere I look.

I really do long for heaven.

So much of what I looked forward to in my life has been great—but full of shadows and only dim shadows themselves, pointing to what will be unimaginably better.

 

Amy SimpsonAmy Simpson is editor of Christianity Today’s Gifted for Leadership, a freelance writer, and author of the forthcoming Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church’s Mission (InterVarsity Press). You can find her at www.AmySimpsonOnline.com  and on Twitter @aresimpson.

Guest blog: Wonder of Nature

From an early age I found myself drawn to the wonder of the natural beauty of the outdoors.  I remember traveling to Devil’s Lake State Park in Wisconsin and marveling at the boulders and cliffs that were left by glaciers.  A family vacation to Yellowstone, a trip with the Boy Scouts to Mississippi Palisades State Park or to Idaho for the 1973 national Jamboree, all stirred both wonder and an inner sense of joy within my heart and soul.  It was later, after coming to know God through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, that I connected God’s declaration in the scriptures to those early impressions.  Reading verses such as Psalm 19’s opening, “The heavens declare the glory of God,” stirred “Aha” moments for me.  In fact, my fairly new Christian faith became solidified on a trip to Yosemite after college graduation.  A God who loved mankind so much that He gave His only Son for our sins also loved us so much that He wanted to share His creativity with us.  Rather than a barren, uniform landscape, He created infinite variety.

I was a structural engineer in the Chicago area for 14 years after I graduated college in 1980.  Some hardships in life in my mid-30’s caused me to question what I was doing with my life and how I could bring my passions together at the same time:  my passion to build the church of Jesus Christ; my passion for the beauty and majesty of nature; my passion to teach and guide young adults towards leadership and faith in Christ.  Some friends suggested I look into Christian camping.  So I contacted the Christian Camp & Conference Association.  It led me to volunteer at Camp Redcloud in southwest Colorado.  Four years later I left there to go to Dallas Theological Seminary to become better equipped in using God’s Word to lead and direct camp staff.  Upon my graduation from DTS, I ended up at Horn Creek in south-central Colorado in the spring of 2005.  I am now the Director of Ministry there.  I feel like I was made by God for this kind of work, using more areas of who I am to serve the staff and people who come to Horn Creek.  My deepest desire is to grow the church, not in numbers but in depth and breadth .  That is, we use the Christian camp platform to help people develop a deeper commitment to live fully for Christ as a thank you offering for the great salvation He has given us.  It also strengthens their relationships so that they are more vibrant and visible ambassadors for Christ in their neighborhoods and communities.

(Jim was our guest on Midday Connection, February 25, 2013. You can hear that program on our website.)

Jim HessJim Hess is the Ministry Director for Horn Creek in Colorado. For more information, please visit Horn Creek’s website.

Guest blog: Mirror, Mirror

What does being pretty mean? What does it actually accomplish? Sure, if people perceive you as pretty, they may look at you admiringly. But what is that admiration grounded in, and what result does it actually produce? Are only pretty women happily married? Do only pretty women have successful careers? Do they only have deep abiding friendships, and no broken relationships? Do they have trial-free fulfilling lives?

Well, if they do have trials, it doesn’t matter, ‘cause they are pretty, so they deserve whatever they get.

That’s how my thinking sometimes goes.

However, I’ve discovered that if you’re noted as pretty, you may be afforded some opportunity from it, but you may also have people distance themselves from you. Some may perceive you as privileged and want to “even the score” and “teach you a lesson.” Some may think you have it all together and perch you on top of a precariously high mountain of unrealistic expectations.

There are times I have experienced the pain of this prejudice, but to my shame, I’m also guilty of inflicting it on others.

In James 2 we are called to love everyone as we love ourselves. Love reflects Christ. It builds up the Church. If I withhold love, I deny myself and others the joy and power of community. But, the ugly truth is that loving others who seem to have it all can be humbling and uncomfortable.

When I’m around a woman I see as beautiful, I am more aware of my insecurities. I look at her and I see that she has something I don’t have…and then I think that she has everything that I don’t have. I think it’s unfair, which really means I think God is unfair. And when I start thinking God is unfair, that is always a red flag to me that I am out of spiritual alignment.

I am still growing in the practice of loving others as myself. Even after thinking deeply about it, I still catch myself forming prejudices against others. But I’m learning that true beauty is revealed in how we love each other, welcoming one another regardless of appearance. I’ve come to appreciate the richness of vulnerability with others, the feeling of being accepted by others, and respecting the journeys each of us has traveled. May you and I continue to grow together in our understanding of the gospel, and what it calls us to – loving others as we love ourselves.

(Julia joined us on the February 8, 2013 Millrose Club. Visit our website to listen to that program.)

Julia BaadJulia Baad is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute, and currently serves as the Client Services Manager in the Integrated Marketing Communications department at Moody Bible Institute. She is a country girl with a city bug, making her way through life by pressing into Jesus. She enjoys running, coffee, good music, and reading books she never finishes. Her family and friends are her biggest joy and inspiration, and she is a proud aunt of two handsome nephews, one beautiful niece, and another amazing niece/nephew scheduled to arrive on the scene in early March.

Guest blog: Why Pursue Racial Reconciliation?

Some people incorrectly believe that we live in a post racial America, but many Americans of color know differently. While race is still one of those touchy issues that make people uncomfortable, Scott Williams believes that “the only way race will become a non-issue is if we make race an issue.” All across America, corporate businesses, the military, government, and academic institutions value diversity. They are making race an issue and are reaping the benefits. Research has shown that diverse leadership teams come up with better solutions to solve problems. Whether diversity is mandated or embraced, corporations pursue racial reconciliation because it helps them solve problems and increases their bottom to make money and expand their diverse customer base.

As brothers and sisters in Christ, our motivation for racial reconciliation is much bigger than that. We should be leading the rest of the world in this practice. As Christ’s ambassadors, we are called to pursue racial reconciliation for the sake of the gospel. We do not discuss race for its own sake, rather we pursue racial reconciliation because of the good news that Christ died to reconcile us all to God, the Father, and to restore our earthly relationships with each other along the way. Christ has modeled for us a divine way of living and that is a commitment to love.

Our greatest command is to love God and love our neighbors. As Christians, we do not have a right to pick and choose who we love. We have been compelled to love and make disciples of all nations, while understanding that our love of others, especially when they are different than us, is a testimony to the rest of the world that we truly belong to God. This is Jesus’ prayer for us: May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me (John 17:23b [NIV]).”
Natasha RobinsonNatasha Robinson is a writer and speaker. She graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy (USNA) with a Bachelor’s of Science degree in English. Upon graduation, Natasha served six years as a Financial Management Officer in the U.S. Marine Corps, and obtained the rank of Captain. After transitioning from the military, she continued to serve as a federal government employee at the Department of Homeland Security. Currently, Natasha is enrolled as a full-time student in the Master of Arts in Christian Leadership program at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. As a member of Cornerstone Southern Baptist Church in Greensboro, NC, she serves  as the Co-Director of the Women’s Mentoring Ministry. For more information about Natasha, please visit her website.

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